he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
