I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
