i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize