are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
