saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
