I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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