Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
