she woke up with a sticky ear
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
