he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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