He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
