yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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