I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my phone needs a breathalizer
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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