dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
