You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
