Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
