I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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