That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
