So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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