i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
