i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
