Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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(678): View more from Georgia

For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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(239): View more from Florida

you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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(540): View more from Virginia

We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.

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(727): View more from Florida

I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.

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