Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
