Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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