I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
