What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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