Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize