She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
