I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
