I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
