Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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