She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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