Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Someone signed my nipple.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
