I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize