Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
