I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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