Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come on in and take your pants off
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