i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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