Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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