So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
