You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
