So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
