So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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