I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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