whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize