i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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