I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
