I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
