I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize