My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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