Define "chronic" masturbator.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm like, not good at living.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
