If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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