Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
