Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
