I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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