I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
