I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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