Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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