we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
