Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His nipple licking is glorious
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
