I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
