there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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