She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
