Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
