Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You don't make any sense
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