hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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